ACCESS NEWS

 Winter Edition 2001                            Vol.  XV  No. 2                          ISSUE 58


 

Adoption, Relinquishment Ugh

Feeling the terror 
Not wanting to come 
My presence means death 
I hear the shouting 
Please dont be born 
Not today, not ever 
You will then be gone 
The inevitable happens 
They take me away 
I scream out my lungs 
No one comes 
My voice not heard 
I continue to resist 
What is happening to me 
I just want my mom 
My soul cries out please dont go 
Come back Come back 
Please let me know 
Im needed Im wanted Im loved 
Im alive? 
They take me today 
I am handed over to them 
I feel them needing me 
Wanting something I can not give 
To them I am theirs now 
This I can not believe 
My being cries out NO 
Please give me back 
I arch my back 
Little hands pushing them away 
I rage for months 
Still hoping she will come 
One day I tire and give up the fight 
She is gone forever 
This is where I am at 
This is who I am 
Or is it? 
Numb I find is the only way to be 
To act as if in some great way 
I sell my core at the highest cost 
Never looking back at what I lost 

Lisa Klosowski  2000 



THE ME INSIDE OF ME

TO MY INNER CHILD:

I'VE COME TO BE WITH YOU MY CHILD AND TAKE YOUR FEARS AWAY
I WANT YOU TO FIND COMFORT IN THE THINGS I HAVE TO SAY
IT IS OKAY FOR YOU TO CRY IT DOES NOT MEAN YOU'RE WEAK
FOR EVERY TEAR YOU SHED MY LOVE FALLS GENTLY FROM MY CHEEK

WE'LL WALK THIS ROAD TOGETHER FOREVER SIDE BY SIDE
I'LL HOLD ON TO YOU TIGHTLY NO LONGER WILL YOU HIDE
WHEN YOU ARE SAD I SHARE IN IT WHEN ANGRY I AM TOO
YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE FOR WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN THRU

COME SIT WITH ME UPON OUR CLOUD OR LET US TAKE A WALK
I SEE SUCH PAIN UPON YOUR FACE YOU DO NOT NEED TO TALK
I WILL BE HERE TO HELP YOU FROM YOU I'LL TAKE THE LEAD
CLOSE YOUR EYES, GIVE ME A HUG, AND TELL ME WHAT YOU NEED

Deb Godek
March 2001



WHY,
           I don't know why IM writing this....i guess I just feel
sad.....and confused .. Two feelings I would rather not feel...however, I
think I'm feeling them....again tonight I was told I'm not the "Real"
mother... I wasn't there for all the throwing up ... etc.  I WANTED to have
been there for those times... "they also got the I love yous... the hugs,
kisses, the bdays, the Xmas's, the first steps, the first day of school, the
first boyfriend, the 'girl" talks, the prom, the first one to be shown the
ring..... the wedding planning, the wedding, the birth of my first and 1
threw 4 grandbabies... I could have helped bring my grandbabies into this
world. I'm a great Lamaze coach ... the tears the laughter ... why don't I
ever hear the aparents say the things they were therefore besides the
throwing up? My daughter gave "them" so much good stuff...and the best of the
good "stuff" was her... and I'm so envious and I'm so upset I am feeling so
envious!!! I want to scream... I will hold her head when she vomits. I
promise I will.. please ... let me hold her head... see I have a nice wet
wash cloth.. I will clean her up... ohhh God Please let me have my
baby....I'll be good........

Linda, Birthmother
February 22, 2001



Tears

I shed a tear
for the person lost
inside me.

I shed a tear
for the
lonely person.

I shed a tear
for the person I am
trying to get out.

I shed a tear
for the person I am
trying to be.

I shed a tear
for the people
I see around me.

Simone Riep
Feb.9 2001



Betrayed

I trusted you believed in you found peace in your embrace
My darkened days were brightened by a smile upon your face
I learned to know that in your words I'd always find the truth
Until my world turned upside down while face to face with Ruth

The news she shared cut like a knife and tore straight through my heart
For I have learned that someone else may have loved me from the start
How could you not have told me that the Mom inside the tomb
Is not from where I'm from I find I'm from a different womb

You thought I'd never learn about the secrets that you kept
The truth I think could have helped me when Mom died and then I wept
I was allowed to grieve for her waved good bye and blew a kiss
But now I have such pain inside for it's two Moms that I miss

Deb Godek, 2000
 
 


Poems by Robin Westbrook

The Child Never Born
(An Adoptee In Search)

Can you tell me a story, to lull me to sleep,
About questions and answers and little lost sheep?
The thunder is rolling and I do fear the storm,
Can you spare a small tale for a child, never born?

Can you show me a face that looks something like mine?
Can you tell me a name that my heart might divine?
Now I wander in darkness, I'm bleeding and torn.
Can't you just say the name, for a child, never born?

Was she filled with confusion, with shame and with fear?
Was she brave when we parted? Did she shed a tear?
Can't you see that it's ME I search for in her form?
Can you please tell the truth to a child, never born?

I know caterpillars become butterflies,
Well, I can become nothing on secrets and lies.
I am weary of secrets, My patience is worn.
Please give back my birth, to this child, never born.

Robin Westbrook
© 1993

(I wrote the above after reading "Journey Of The Adopted Self" and having
many discussions with my daughter about her search for me. I dedicated it to
all adoptees who search.)

=============================================================
Who Am I?

Look at me, Look closely at my face and truly see me.

I am the face of the housewife, the store clerk, the doctor, the teacher, the
doting grandmother, the "childless" business executive, the judge, the
florist, the drycleaner on the corner, the crossing guard..all these and more.

Behind my face, lies the truth you deny. Behind the wall I have built for
self-protection, is the pain you refuse to see. My face does not reveal the
open wound in my heart, but it is there.

I am the forgotten face, the face that fades into the crowd, that reinvents
itself in order to fit in with all the rest of you.

I am the face that many wish would remain forever anonymous, the face that
many long to see yet the face that others fear.

I am the face of denial and repression. Behind my silent, sealed lips, there
are cries of grief and screams of rage. Behind my dry eyes, is a lifetime of
unshed tears.

I am the face of long-ago shame and yesterday's scandal. I am the face of an
imprisoned soul, punished for breaking obsolete and unloving rules.

I am the face of one-half of a whole. I am a missing piece longing for
completion. I am the face of a traumatic and unnatural separation and a
primal wound.

I am the face of grief without a grave, questions without answers and secrets
unknown. I am the face of an unfinished story, a life in limbo and a victim
of the needs and desires of others.

I am the face of remorse and betrayal and a singular brand of loneliness. I
am the face of unique tragedy.

I am the face that, now, emerges from obscurity and calls out to be seen. You
can call me the birthmother, the first mother, the natural mother or whatever
term meets your comfort level, but it won't change the fact at hand.

That fact is that I am a MOTHER without her child.

Robin Westbrook
@2000

The above piece is representative of my "epiphany"..when I fully came to realize
the toll that secret adoption and all its ramification had taken on me as a
woman and as a mother.
 

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